Self Pity, a Poem by Alma Hall

I would like a red carpet into Heaven for all that I’ve done,

A flying carpet into Heaven for all that I’ve done,

And when it’s hard in Heaven, and when I’m angry in Heaven,

I would like to sit in a cherry tree and eat and touch the clouds.

I may forgive you but I don’t forgive the God who, dressed up as my father, the devil, 

Left me and I could not breathe.

He never explained it to me.

I would love to sit on a dewy cloud that sparkles,

I would weigh nothing, thirty pounds,

Just like I was three,

And I would love that when I forgive you, 

You forgive me.

You can’t die in Heaven, but maybe you can understand for me. 

I am not a vicious person

But I have been betrayed.

I am not a weak person

But I have been left out.

I am not a cruel person,

But I have been ashamed, so angels

Bear traumas that I cannot see.

I am not a liar, 

But I may suspect.

Ugliness has found me,

Has left me in an alley gutter

Gasping for justice and finding dirty water, running free.

I am hurt.

You are too.

May we be friends? 

I promise I won’t hurt you.

Just please do mind my hem,

And kiss it if you want to.

When sadness tries to do us in,

Know the kings of this world were always far worse than we.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: