I do know why the music from those dark times stands out for me and makes me want to hold onto the memories. I could say life transforms even the worst things into beautiful things, but I don’t think that’s true. What I do think is that to be alive means to have a soul,Continue reading “Music Part 2”
Author Archives: almabhere
Music Part 1
I am not as philosophically or literarily advanced as Proust. I believe smells DO take you back, but it happens to me so seldom that I don’t think about it that much. Songs, on the other hand, paint immersive technicolor exhibits in my head regarding the past I often never want to leave. I haveContinue reading “Music Part 1”
Worth It
“That’s Not My Name.” The cadence of that song, and later, the words, the significance of a girl yelling that THAT ISN’T HER NAME, rings in my ears as I pretend to dance on the asphalt with my half-drunk watery beer in a plastic cup. I am wearing a khaki skirt I got at theContinue reading “Worth It”
Details
There are children playing (and laughing and squealing) outside. They sound like they are about six or younger. It’s still colder than it is warm out, especially now as the sun goes down, but I did have to take my sweater off today. My cat is sitting on my unmade bed, her tail flicking aContinue reading “Details”
Woman
Some days I am like a beautiful woman Awake in the morning My smile an embrace Everyone hates a beautiful woman Sometimes she is a lake people die in She walks in and People talk and Some begin to hate and Hunger eats at the seams of underpants Everyone eats nervously You call yourself aContinue reading “Woman”
Dreams
There is nothing, maybe just air and sky, if that. It is, however, freezing cold. Then a light, like a sundog, spreads vertically, infinitely. I understand it to be an infinite, vertical rainbow. Everything around it is gray. It may or may not contain all of the colors of the rainbow. It might contain justContinue reading “Dreams”
Ophelia, or What I Wish Hadn’t Happened
For my senior thesis at St John’s, I wrote on Ophelia. There was a big party at the President’s house when we all turned in our papers. I wore a too-big bronze sequined dress. He came up to Jill and me and, with the pretense of hugging her because she was his friend, hugged usContinue reading “Ophelia, or What I Wish Hadn’t Happened”
For a Moment
A million years ago, I was in an airplane with my seventh and eighth grade classmates, flying back to California from Italy. We were unbelievably lucky private school children who had just spent a week in one of the oldest cities of Western Civilization doing what eighth graders do–having fun but missing the full gravityContinue reading “For a Moment”
Friends
I have an elderly friend who is a little difficult. I have struggled with her for the last two years in particular. She has cared for me at really dark periods and been here, a fixture in Santa Fe, for me. She can also be blunt, judgmental and plain rude. As a mother figure, IContinue reading “Friends”
Stream of Consciousness 2/8/2021
I’ve deactivated my Facebook because it takes too much of my attention and in general adds a level of drama to my life that I don’t need. In a nutshell, I am addicted. It is an issue. In general the internet takes too much of my time, especially during this pandemic. I need to findContinue reading “Stream of Consciousness 2/8/2021”
